Today, let's pretend I'm a friendship therapist.
I'm not going to lie to you and say I’m a great friend. When it comes to friendships, I can be extremely lazy. I rarely call or text my friends. Dear Amy and Tomi, in case you're reading this...take deep breaths, I know I’ve been complicit. I'm definitely not here to play the victim. However, I recently decided to fix up. Stay with me here…
Here’s the thing…
In the spirit of sticking to the Sunnah and the path of the Salafs, I realised that my lifestyle could really use an upgrade.
The TLDR is I read that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to visit Abu Bakr every single day. 1They loved each other so much that they visited each other daily. Then I told myself: “ Sumayyah, you have a friend that lives 10 minutes away. Do some visiting.” Anyway, I've improved a bit. I now call my friends more often and, to be honest, I feel happier after talking to or spending time with these women that I love.
What are some cool things to do if you are like me and find it hard to keep track of your friendships?
Have reminders on your phone. E.g: Call Sharon, Istee, and Fareedah on Saturday; 10am.
Have a list of your friends somewhere and revisit it often.
Visit the ones that are close to you more often. Pick a day- Saturday or Sunday, and dedicate 5 hours to visiting that friend that lives just 3 bus stops away. Your mental health will be grateful to you for the rest of the week.
Plan strategic hangouts with the ones that live far away. I recently had a date with Chim who lives in another part of Lagos and Tom who lives in another Continent. It was a rather fulfilling day and we just had to pick a day when they'd both be available in Lagos.
Give gifts to your friends. Forget about that sister or brother that you have a crush on and spend your money on your friends. This improves friendships.
Summary: I learnt how to be a good friend from Abu Bakr and the Prophet, peace be upon him + Some useful tips for having and keeping your friends. Stay in love with your friends today. 💝
Hadith References are in footnotes.
I'd love to hear back from you. Did this get to you? What would you like me to write about next?
Fee Amanillah ❣️
Narrated Aisha:
(wife of the Prophet) Since I reached the age when I could remember things, I have seen my parents worshipping according to the right faith of Islam. Not a single day passed but Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) visited us both in the morning and in the evening . . .
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 2297
In-book reference : Book 39, Hadith 8
USC-MSA web (English) reference : Vol. 3, Book 37, Hadith 494
(deprecated numbering scheme)
You know, I used to check up on all my friends once in every 3 months. Emphasis on "used", but then I suddenly lost the urge, maybe it's because the energy isn't being reciprocated or I'm just too lazy to send that text! Well, after getting this tip I've found the urge again! Thank you our beloved!❤️
Your voice (not literally lol) really speaks to me. Masha Allah.