Today, let’s pretend I’m a marriage counsellor. I’m a counsellor who is here to give you the marital blueprint.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that marriage is like jail so you have to wait it out or marriage is like a concentration camp so you have to endure it as you hope for salvation. None of that self-righteous Nigerian bull.
Contrary to popular Nigerian belief, marriage is about:
Tranquility: Think of your safest space in the world. Is it your home? Is it the beach? Is it a friend’s bedroom? Your marital home should feel even safer than that.
Affection: Your partner should dote on you even more than your parents or your best friends. There should not be a person in the world who cares about you more than your partner does. That is law.
Mercy: This is the standard. A partner who is merciful to you is not an exceptional partner. A partner who is kind to you should be the standard, this should be the norm, anything less than this is unacceptable and irregular.
Remember, Allah says in the Qur’an, Surat Ar-Rum vs 21; And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.
Today, I need to put you on some game. These tips are not guaranteed to give you the best partner but experts recommend them and you might as well try.
Like I often say during Instagram live sessions, you need to have a checklist before you get with a partner. Having a checklist protects you from making rash decisions and picking the wrong person. You know, once you’ve caught feelings, your decision-making can no longer be trusted until the love ‘clears from your eye’.
A pre-marital checklist can look like this.
☐ Must be educated (Input level of education)
☐ Must be responsible
☐ Must be hardworking
☐ Must have a good relationship with family
☐ Must be honest
☐ Must have a decent apartment
☐ Must love and want children
…and so on.
When you meet a person, this should be the standard. You must not deviate from what you want because once you do, you will end up with a long term problem on your hands.
I hope this helps.
I leave you in the care of Allah.
Fee Amanillah. 🤎
I have some of my books published on Selar. Check them out now 🫶🏽
Thank you our beloved ❤️
This is enlightening💕💞. Ma Sha Allah 🌷