So you Want To Marry? (1)
Practical experience of someone who got married according to the Qur'an and Sunnah (Part One of a series)
This is an interview. Therefore, I hope you can see that, today, I am an interviewer.
Let's read from “Jamaad”… All about how he found the woman of his dreams and got married within a short time frame (9 weeks).
INTERVIEW SESSION
Q: Thank you for doing this interview.
Jamaad: I'm not quite prepared but you're welcome.
Q: You have shared that you are married to the woman of your dreams. You have also shared this on your social media and in our past meetings which is how we first decided to do this. The truth is, I'd like to know a lot but I've restricted myself to a few necessary questions. Before you met her, how were you preparing for marriage?
Jamaad: I hadn't always been religious but I knew I wanted a religious wife and I wanted Muslim ‘Sunnatic’ children. That's why before I met my woman, I became more religious. I increased my standards to want someone that has a similar level of growth, especially religion-wise. As I learnt new things about the Deen, my mindset on how my spouse should be also changed. I asked Allah for her in Ramadhan (Qiyamu Layl and other times).
Q: That sounds cute and dreamy. Allahuma Baarik! How did you know she was the one?
Jamaad: Everything worked out easily. First of all, she was the only person that accurately fit the standards I set and met my non-negotiables. We had a lot of similarities and agreed on a lot of stuff. We both wanted our homes to be a certain way. We wanted our kids to be raised a certain way. When it came to the important aspects of life, we agreed on everything.
Q: What was the first step you took to verifying that she was the one?
Jamaad: I spoke with her. Asked her important questions. I made istikhara. Her father did not want to see us (He said he didn't want to see anybody for two months). Therefore, we brought in an intermediary for our conversations. We communicated via an online group chat.
Q: When you had figured out that you wanted to marry her, what was the next step?
Jamaad: We met the families and informed them of our next steps. I set up a meeting with my family to introduce her to them and let them know of my intentions. Then Istikhara was done by both parties again.
Q: How did your family and friends take it?
Jamaad: Certain people took it well and were on board. People's major concern was with the short period of time. They expected a dating phase, an engaged phase, and then a married phase. It was a traditional shock to them to see someone who wanted to go straight to marriage while skipping all of those. Some family members who were on the Deen were more cooperative and supportive but there was resistance from some members of the family. My friends were shocked too but they took it how I served it.
Q: How did you go about preparing for the marriage at this stage?
Jamaad: We had to find a Wali because her father was not a Muslim. Then we had to find an Imam. Then we did couple’s marriage counselling (3 sessions). We watched some verified counselling videos online. We also had personal intimacy training classes.
Q: What were your plans for the wedding?
Jamaad: We had to set priorities for the weddings to ensure it was done according to the Qur'an and the Sunnah. We had to ensure that the ceremony, especially, was done in accordance with the Qur'an and Sunnah. Having males and females segregated in seating arrangement. Having the Wali present during Announcement and Acceptance. Ensuring that the Imam was upon the Qur'an and Sunnah strictly. We also got food and other items in place. Ensuring we were involved in every stage of the planning made it easy to control what was allowed and what wasn't.
Q: Your advice to those who want to get married?
Jamaad: Don't get married based on your hormones.
Q: Thank you so much for your contribution.
Fee Amanillah ❣️
Yes! I want to marry 🤲🏾
TabaaRakaLlah!❤️